Post-script - the trip home to NZ

We left via ferry, watching our island home disappearing as we sped away.

Farewelling Koh Phangan behind us as we head for bustling Koh Samui

Our sun-kissed beach babe.

Had a couple of nights in Samui at Bophut's Fishermans Village, for shopping, dining and visiting the Big Buddha (Wat Phra Yai) temple.  
On our fourth attempt in 3 months we managed to get a booking at Barracuda restaurant for our last divine meal.

Lighting incense at the Big Buddha temple

Chiming each prayer bell around the temple courtyard
for wisdom and casting out evil spirits.

A heart stopping moment at the airport when an airline official told us we would have to pay 500B per day for the children overstaying their visas.  The advice we had previously obtained was that this fine was waived for children and so we hadn't renewed their visas.  Fortunately the advice turned out to be right and we were stamped through customs, because this would have cost us about $1000 !

Then a flight to Kuala Lumpur where we ate at local noodle houses, gazed up at the impressive sparkly twin-towers and visited the Batu Caves - up 272 steps, dodging the playful monkeys and then visiting the Hindu shrines at the top.  We caught the train to the caves and observed 'ladies only' carriages and waiting areas.
Later that day the kids enjoyed a indoor theme park too.  

Up 272 hot steps without complaints !

During a puja the swami adorned us with tilaka on our foreheads,
flowers and sacred wrist threads with golden charms.

..and then a henna tattoo for the girls - it will fade in about 2 weeks !

Then another short flight on to Singapore.  First up, the night safari - which was fabulous, the fire show and the rather active lions were a real highlight.  The night zoo is only really achievable with kids while travelling in this direction, as we are heading back to NZ when the time difference works in our favour.   

Mike took the kids to a movie and some fast car showrooms while I enjoyed my first real shopping in 3 months.

A Ferrari anyone?

Tim arrived for a couple of weeks work so we were very fortunate to see him and the kids were soooo excited to see their Uncle after all this time away.

That night, we went to the spectacular light and water show at the base of Marina Bay Sands.  It was incredible with video projected onto water vapor, interspersed with music, fire and lasers. 

"Wonder Full"

Do bubbles remain magical and popping-compulsive forever ?

While Tim and Mike were working, I took the kids on the MRT to a turtle and tortoise sanctuary.  There are 1000 live turtles/tortoises of various species, many just walking around in the centre of the Chinese Gardens.


One lovely last night in Asia - spent with Tim - drinks at Ku De Ta at the top of the Marina Bay Sands (the building that is three towers with what looks like an enormous ship balanced on the top) looking down on the the Singapore skyline from the 57th floor, then dinner in the monastic courtyard at Chijmes and a night cap at bustling Clarke Quay.

57 floors up at Marina Bay Sands

Singapore at night - truly spectacular

A dim sum lunch with Marika and family.  How lovely to catch up after all this time.

And we were off, with Annabelle, Matthew and myself flying together, a rather sleepless, short and tiring night !  Mike followed a few days later after some meetings.

It has been a busy and lovely first week back, catching up with everyone.  Now time to take a breath, and plan the next adventure.

I am learning fast that I need a strategy to be able to re-capture the mindset and peacefulness we obtained in our time away, while in the midst of life in Auckland.  Meditation perhaps is the answer...also protecting time for Mike and I, and for the four of us....re-visiting this blog is helping a bit too - transporting me back !

Until the next adventure then.... 

Departure and some reflections on the last 3 months

We are leaving Koh Phangan now to start our trip back to NZ, via Samui, Malaysia and Singapore.  My visa extension expires on the 1st of October, so rather than running up fines and risking being stopped and arrested (as some do!) we will depart Thailand on that day.

Although we are enjoying the quiet life, it does somehow seem appropriate to be leaving here as things are winding down for the quietest two months of the year.  There is a noticeable difference in the number of people around, apart from this weekend being a full moon, so the monthly Haad Rin beach party that the island is infamous for, is attracting a concentration of party-goers for a few days.  A few restaurants and other businesses have closed till things pick up again in November.

This is the wet season now and we have been getting occasional rain - maybe a few hours once or twice a week, but probably no more than 10 hours in total, and most of them at night time.  The whole island was talking yesterday about the meteorological warning that meant there was going to be very heavy rain for the entire day, and it has caused floods already in some parts of the country.  But it only rained for 10 minutes on Koh Phangan.  It has been overcast a little more often, and then slightly cooler, which is quite pleasant.  Or are we just acclimatized ?

As the time has progressed here, we have started to get to know people a little better and to socialize a bit.  It has been interesting to see the paths and choices that various expats have taken to be living here with their families.  I can see that one could have a great life here - it is such a lovely warm climate, stunning beaches and views, a very relaxed lifestyle, cheap to live, and with it now having an English speaking school it makes it workable for many families, with new children arriving at the school every couple of weeks. (A constant issue however is the need to go frequently to a neighbouring country for visa renewal.  And many families will shortly face the issue of schooling their children once they are over 12 years old.)  We have started to develop a small sense of community through school connections and through Muay Thai connections.  One of the great learnings of this time has been to see how a completely different lifestyle would be workable, and how many people make this conscious decision and embrace it.  

At some point for a few weeks in the middle of our time, the experience turned more from exploring and relishing our environment, into a usual sort of school week and weekend based routine.  In fact, our last week has seemed in many ways like a typical week in Auckland - school, homework, playdates, soccer practice, weekend kids birthday parties and so on (and our departure has been slightly delayed so Annabelle and Matthew can go to one last party!).  Somehow, it seems wherever we are, we have a tendency to fall into this structure.  However as our time neared the end we have been re-invigorated to do some things we had not yet done, make the most of our last few weeks, and disrupt the routine a bit.  We must find ways to do this regularly in Auckland - it is refreshing for the kids and adults !  

The last couple of days have been spent doing some of the very last few things we had on our list to do, buying one significant large 'souvenir', closing our bank account, also saying goodbyes and giving farewell gifts and tips.  The number of farewells is I guess testament to the connections we have made in this short time.  The children had a wonderful send off from school including presents and a huge card.  Annabelle has had tears tonight, and I saw Matthew wipe his eyes yesterday after his teacher Genene gave him a hug.

Goodbye Si-Panya !

One of the last few things we have done is fulfill a promise to Annabelle and Matthew to have a ride to school on a motorbike.  They see the other kids arriving via this mode of transport and our open aired jeep Robbie is no longer a novelty.  They loved the sense of speed, the wind rushing past and in one 24 hour bike hire managed several rides.  Everyone here has a story of a bike accident and you always see people walking round bandaged up, and so we fortunately didn't join that brigade.  Thanks to Mike for his safe driving. 

the long promised motorbike ride

I am so glad we made the decision to spend this time predominantly in one place - it is easy to be on the move constantly, busy everyday with sightseeing, traveling, planning the next place, finding accommodation and so on.  And our first month or so was rather like that.  The second month we had some lovely visits from Mum and Dad and then Pairoj, Jib and Khanoon, and Mike had two trips away (Sydney and Singapore).  
So our last month or so on Koh Phangan has been a very special family time, and couple time.  We have all shared this experience and as a family have been frequently discussing it and comparing it to life in NZ.   We have a great many learnings and experiences which will stay with us forever.  Annabelle and Matthew have wonderful written diaries of their own as a record of their experience.  It has been great for them to experience a whole spectrum of life outside the comparative uniformity of Auckland and Remuera.  Annabelle and Matthew have spent so much time together and have grown more supportive and appreciative of each other as a result.  It feels like they have been at an ideal age to do this.
Mike and I have really valued the time we have spent with just the two of us as well.  We have had regular long discussions on our sea wall or in the hammock, over smoothies or a meal, or walking along a beach.  We have talked about ourselves, our relationship, the children and our parenting, finances and plans for the future.  It is something that we find so easy not to do enough of, within the busy-ness of regular life, so we both feel thankful for the time we have had available for this.  We have renewed appreciation of each other and a commitment to continue this dialogue.

I have also enjoyed time on my own for personal thought - reflecting on our discussions, insights into myself, on what I am learning from some books I have been reading and from Buddhism and meditation.  I have been feeling very calm and centered, trying to put into practice what I have been learning.  Long may it continue.

It is this time for ourselves and for myself that I hoped to create in this time away.  The lack of distraction by busy-ness with travel planning, the stimulation and distractions of a city, removal of many everyday chores, work, organized children's activities, and socializing has been what I yearned for in this time. We have filled this space with conversation and individual thought and I believe know ourselves and each other better. 

I am usually quite comfortable on my own for periods of time, however I did learn, after Mike had been away for almost a week, for the second time, that I do have a threshold for lack of adult company.  When I have friends and a network around me this is less noticeable, but here this doesn't really exist.   Almost completely on my own with the children, I found I enjoyed my sense of self-sufficiency and the time for introspection, however over time, my mood was effected a bit - so I have learned I do need some adult stimulation !  I also became a little compulsive over night time security.

We are also physically healthier - months of eating piles of fresh fruit every morning, regular fruit shakes for lunch and some version of rice/protein/veges for dinner has been great.  We have not tired of Thai food, and the heat and spiciness reduces our appetite.  We have exercised regularly and we have both lost some weight.  Although I think the kids may have put on a little weight - not so much exercise for them with few after school activities, and the heat not conducive to much running around.

We have been very fortunate health-wise as we fully expected various issues and came armed with a significant first aid kit.  Matthew had a fever with V&D early on which we treated with antibiotics, Mike has had a couple of milder episodes where he has needed to stay near a toilet for a day or so.  Annabelle and I have been very fortunate (hope I am not speaking too soon!) and have had nothing.  As the weather has been a little wetter and cooler (maybe just under 30C) there have been a few viruses going round -Matthew and I have caught a rather protracted cold virus.  Other than that, we have been absolutely fine.  Which is fortunate as any serious medical condition needs to be taken to Samui or Bangkok as there are only 2 doctors and limited medical facilities here.  A woman I spoke to who had been diagnosed with dengue fever, had first been diagnosed by one of these doctors and having menopause !


This blogging has been an interesting process.  I am so glad I decided to do it, and set myself up, overcoming any small technological hurdles, entirely on my own.  In the past I have often written a paper diary as I have travelled, so updating this process to a on-line, sharable medium seems natural.  I have found that it has been a great process for getting me to think about what we are doing and learning as we go. I often will start a post, then think about it for a couple of days and perhaps do a little research, and take a few more photos, before finishing it off.  Structuring it around topics (massage, Muay Thai, school), rather than just a chronological record, has been rewarding, with the opportunity to bring in some cultural learning and enrich our experience.  It is more interesting, in this way, as the writer, than simply a diary of each day.  It also prompts me to take more photos, which I have a tendency to forget as I have in the back of my mind that I might blog.  I have found it easy to weave in news of what we have been currently doing through these topics.

The only negative of blogging, is that I do find that on occasion, I have the tendency to view an experience through the 'blog lens' i.e. I will be thinking about what I will write about it, rather than just experiencing it and reflecting on it later eg In the middle of a yoga pose, a festival, or a Thai language lesson!  And I find myself interpreting from the 'stats' page about how to increase readership, while actually, this is just as much for my own record as for anyone else.  

All in all though, blogging has been fun, great to have a small project (each blog takes me a few hours) and it will be lovely to have a record of our trip in this way.

In this way and in others, I would say we have definitely become more prolific technology users during our time here.  Increased use of Skype, Facebook (just a little) and email, with virtually no regular phone calls.  Unlimited broadband and no English language TV means we download entertainment such as a TV series or movie when we want it.  This is all wifi permitting!  And I am sure we could become much more sophisticated. The few postcards we have sent now seem rather defunct, merely fridge decoration for the recipient, rather than bearing any new news of our trip.

Mike has been doing a bit of work, and latterly more than he anticipated or wanted, really.  All on email/skype or involving travel.  Latterly he has been back to his old tricks of waking up in the middle of the night and this is exacerbated by working across timezones.  However it has shown us a model for remote working/income generation that could be sustainable from anywhere in the world.


What won't I miss ?

Mosquitoes !  Annabelle and I have an ever evolving collection of itchy mosquito bites, despite regular use of repellant at dusk.  Latterly as it has become a bit damper, I have collected quite a few bites in the daytime as well.  It is the daytime mosquitoes that carry dengue fever, so that has left me a little uneasy as it is quite common, a nasty disease that takes quite some time to recover from, and serious for children and the elderly.  

Smelly drains and unpleasant toilets.  Mildly unpleasant toilet experiences abound when out and about.  Helping Annabelle navigate the variables of toilet use  has been a feature of this trip - sit or squat (in a stable, clean manner), paper available or need to BYO, paper in bin or flush (rare), flush with a lever or with a bucket, and so on.  Annabelle had a toilet overflow experience early on which was not her fault, but it left her anxious and she lost confidence in navigating these issues.

Common amenity failure - water stoppages, intermittent wifi problems, power cuts (which also means no water or wifi, fans, aircon, cash machines etc!) various maintenance issues around the house, a window lock failure late one night while Mike was away, aircon spitting ice at the kids in the middle of the night, various kitchen implements failing, car gear box nearly falling out and so on.  Many of these have provided opportunities for the spirit of flexibility and improvisation to come to the fore !

The reminders of the seedy underbelly of Thai tourism.  A strip of bars with pool tables and scantily clad girls outside, between our house and Thong Sala, which springs into action as soon as it gets dark.  If coming back from dinner from this direction after about 6.30pm the blaring music would prompt the kids to look with curiosity, and ask why the music is so loud or there are so many pool tables.

Water that you can't trust.  In NZ our water is part of our life force, essential, pure, cleansing.  Here we have to be more careful - regularly hauling 30kg bottles of water in from the water factory to drink.  Remembering not to get tap water in our mouths while showering or teeth cleaning.  Making sure the dishes are dry before putting anything in or on them.

What have I loved ?
A healthy, simple lifestyle in a warm and sunny climate.  The slower pace of life that comes with the heat.  A casualness and relaxedness.  A simple wardrobe too - we haven't worn long sleeves or long pants, since leaving NZ.
Spending so much time with just the four of us, without too much more compelling to do than just hanging out as a family, exploring and discussing together.
Meeting local Thai and Burmese people and trying to learn a little from each of them.  Meeting expats and understanding what leads them to choose to live here.   The teachers at school have been one of my best sources of information about what's what, and where to go, and what to do on the island.  Thanks to them !
The drive to drop off the kids at school in the  morning which is in such a sharp contrast to my urban traffic crawl in Auckland.  We wind our way out of our own sandy potholed road, onto the main road occasionally pausing to give way first, and drive about 2 minutes before turning off onto the road that leads to school.  This is my favourite bit, we drive along a narrow road which winds its way between small houses where much of life is lived outside.  Passing by children playing and dogs sleeping on the road, occasionally having to slow to a crawl behind a waddling goose or strutting cockerel!  Often the smoke of a morning fire drifts around us, then we pass the old man tending to the coconut harvest - cutting open and then smoking his coconuts over a barrel.  We are usually greeted by the smiles of people looking up from their activities as we pass by.
Eating out (not cooking!) and experiencing various interpretations of all the Thai dishes and hence inspiration for our own Thai cookery when we return. 
Being content with our rundown old jeep, with its various problems - not needing a smart or new car.  It is completely fine in warm weather, anyway - not so good in the rain we have found !
My hair hash't seen a hair-dryer or hair-straightener since Singapore !  It is curly, always tied up and frequently in and out of the sea, pool, or shower, and shampooed less frequently too.
We have all enjoyed having our dog Billy as a part of the family for these last couple of months.  We will miss his wagging tail and trusting eyes greeting us.  We have left piles of dog food for the gardener to open for him.  I hope he makes it through to when the property owner Eddie returns.
The opportunity to become good friends with a Paiorj, Jib and Khanoon.  A desire to understand each others' culture through somewhat of a language barrier bred honesty and a depth of communication that is sometimes not attainable with people we have known for much longer.  Annabelle was very keen to come back for a possible RPS return exchange, this now won't happen which is disappointing for her.  She may come to Bangkok on a further trip of Mike's to Singapore.
Lastly, and my strongest visual memory, sitting on the seawall or in our Buddha-orange hammock cooled by sea breezes watching the water and sunset.

I am sure there is more, which will occur to me as the distance grows between us and this amazing time.

I think we are all ready now - keen to see family and friends, keen to return.  Keen for the next adventure....

Photo time...local style.

Some visual images with lovely memories...

The glorious and ever changing view outside our house

..often including kite-surfers.
This guy did tricks, and even jumped a boat !

...and many wonderful sunsets.
Watched while sitting on our wall with a cocktail in hand.

With the occasional storm kicking up.
Now the wet season has started we get a hour or two of rain every week or so !

A lovely visit from Mum and Dad/Nana and Grandad.
This photo taken as they were about to depart on the ferry.

Many breakfasts and other meals eaten outside

The view from our favorite restaurant - The Beachlounge

Many dinners at the night market

A great visit from Pairoj, Jib and Khanoon
...on the swing

...and in the hammock

More time enjoying the swing that Mike and Pairoj made

....and watching others get enjoyment from it too.

Matthew and his school soccer team.  Ages 7 to 10 years.
Players from: France, Portugal, Sweden, Brazil, Thailand, Japan and NZ !

Certificate and medal haul on Si-Panya School Sports Day !

A heart stopping adventure 22m up high in the trees

I was so proud of the enthusiasm and courage and sense of fun with
which Annabelle tackled this hardest traverse.

Our Thai language lesson with Cru Pam

Learning about the island.
Visiting the coconut site and watching coconut milk being made.

And learning that petrol can also be sold from whisky bottles.
Which we have found very handy on occasion !

Ching-chok spotting, both inside and outside the house

Exploring various Buddhist shrines and temples

More glorious beaches...is it possible to tire of them?

And bath temperature water to hang out in. 

Matthew and Annabelle feeling the beat on Hat Rin beach, venue of the Full Moon parties

I loved the care taken here with towels

...and a toilet roll.
So at odds with many of our unpleasant toilet experiences !

And lastly...a wonderful farewell from Si-Panya School

My journey into yoga and meditation...

Leaving The Sanctuary

Today is my last day of a 3 day 'retreat' at The Sanctuary at Had Tien beach on Koh Phangan.  At the end of this wonderful 3 month family retreat to our small quiet island, I have managed to create 3 days completely for myself.   I have never taken time solely for myself like this before, but for many years have been attracted to the idea.  My goal:  to carry on with some more yoga, to learn a bit about meditation and take time for reflection. 

Note: it is not an organized retreat in that sense of the word, just a personal one.

The transport in and out of Had Tien


ad Tien is accessible by boat (or a very difficult 4WD track) and The Sanctuary is known for its yoga & meditation, various resident healers, very good vegetarian & seafood restaurant and fasting programs.  I am not fasting, although many people here are - something for next time perhaps.  As I arrived by boat I had a sense of being transported far away, even if it was only 30 minutes or so from where our house is.

My balcony


The whole place is built from the beach up a hill over the rocks and amongst the jungle.  I have a small simple bamboo bungalow with a thatch roof, a comfortable bed, a chair, a mosquito net inside and a hammock outside.  The bathroom has a warm shower and a western style toilet, is accessed over a small bridge and one wall is a large rock.  The accommodation options range from more basic than that, to more comfortable, depending on your preference.

Where the healers reside...


As well as yoga and meditation, I have also had the opportunity to keep an open mind and try some things I have never experienced before, such as a transformative breathing class, and an astrology session.  The astrologer woman was fascinating to see in action, just observing how she can see so much for all the signs of the zodiac just from one map.  And  while I didn't find particular meaning for me right now in her horoscope, I did learn that I need to know my time-of-birth to fix once and for all whether I am a Libra or Scorpio !  Anyone who is interested can ask me about transformative breathing, it was a completely new experience for me and there were clearly some real enthusiasts of this process in the group.

My glorious regular yoga location in Sri Thanu

I came to Thailand hoping to continue my fitness with yoga (my inclination to run was soon overcome by the heat, and various stray barking dogs chasing me) and I have been to a number of classes while we have been here.  Low season has meant that the classes aren't always reliably running and the instructors change regularly, but the upside of this is that it has expanded my experience of styles and techniques.  Some of the teachers would end with a led meditation.  As well as Hatha and Ashtanga, one style taught at the Sanctuary is Yin yoga which I had not come across before.  This emphasizes the length of time spent in each pose, essentially aiming to focus on breathing and to meditate in each pose - so a good opportunity for practicing what I have been learning.  It is still quite hot, so every class feels a bit like what I imagine Bikram yoga to be like, so I have not been tempted by that particular style.  

I hadn't been to yoga for about 3 years after injuring my back, so have been careful in getting back into it.  I have been learning from the different instructors some tips for not doing that again.  However a couple of weeks ago I did re-injure it in the same place in another Ashtanga class - so may need to steer clear of Ashtanga.  Fortunately, regular Lek massages have helped significantly in the recovery. 

When we arrived on this island, I was completely unaware that Koh Phangan is known for its meditation, as there is a very old local temple Wat Khao Tam where the monks have taught meditation for many years.  Because of this, many private centers for yoga and meditation have also grown up in various spots around the island.  At the Wat they now run 10 day retreats where there are many hours of meditation each day with no talking and no technology allowed - definitely for the experienced meditator and not a mere beginner like myself!  I looked into doing something more organized, but didn't find anything that suited the dates I had available.

My interest in meditation stems from wanting to train myself to be more 'present', rather than have my mind constantly running ahead to the next things to be done.  The mental challenge of quieting my mind is as big as I anticipated, but I now have some tools for helping with this.  What I hadn't anticipated was the physical challenge for sitting for long periods of time virtually immobile - although I have learned a little about walking and lying meditation as well.

My first experiences of meditating were with 'our' wonderful massage lady Lek.  She has just built a small house which she uses solely as a place of meditation.  She goes there morning and night and after hearing I was interested to learn, one evening invited me along also.  I followed behind her motorbike in the dark to an area just outside of Thong Sala and she showed me her very small meditation house.  I hadn't realized it would just be us there.  She took me though her preparatory Buddhist rituals and how she meditates and I followed suit, in my own way.  Her gift to me is a mantra which means 'kindness and love from the heart'.  It was a truly meaningful introduction to the practice of meditation and one that will remain with me forever. 

It didn't take too long as a first attempt, and shortly afterward a group of invited friends and her meditation teacher turned up.  It turned into what I would describe as a seated Buddhist prayer meeting, starting with lighting of bunches of incense, which continued to waft through the room for the evening, then continued with beautiful musical chanting, punctuated with intermittent bowing to the shrine set up along one wall.  It was an amazing experience to be a part of, and would have been even more meaningful if I could have understand a single word!  Several days later I was chatting to another (Thai) woman who had been there who told me it was mostly actually in Chinese so she didn't understand a lot of it either !  For me, it eventually became a sort of endurance event for how long I could remain seated on the floor barely shifting and so, after more than one hour, and having observed a few people coming and going, so ascertaining this would be acceptable, I made my own exit.  

A few days later Lek invited Mike, Annabelle and Matthew to come for a visit also.  She showed us around her garden, opened a coconut for a snack, and we all took part in the incense lighting.  She enjoyed teaching the children a little bit of meditation also. and we stayed for just a few minutes of the prayer session, which was all the children could really manage.  

Seeking to understand a little more about meditation than I could access through the language barrier with Lek, I have read a simple but great book called One Step At A Time by Phra Peter Pannapadipo which explains Buddhist meditation, from the very basics and in the context of the Buddhist faith.  He is actually English but has chosen life as a monk (Phra) in Thailand so explains it in an easily understandable way, from an informed Western perspective.  

View down to Had Tien from the top of the hill

At The Sanctuary, I have also had the opportunity to take part in some guided meditation sessions and ask some questions related to my own experiences in a session with an experienced meditator - a lovely intuitive American woman named Tammy.

So from these teachers I have had a chance to learn, and have had some time on my own for practice.  I am not sure I am making great progress, but am enjoying, and persisting with the journey.  I hope I can keep with it when we return.

There are a host of alternative practices on offer.
On occasion I have found myself seeking to find meaning in the phrases uttered, such as:
- breathe through your middle eye
- your hips are the crucible for your organs
- find the part of you that is always there
I am not sure that I was always successful.